Grief

This river of grief that carves it way through me

Is deeper and wider than I know.

I feel its movement

with every breath,

Its strong undercurrent with every step.

At times it becomes a flood, a torrent wanting to sweep me away, crashing against the rocks in my life and overflowing the banks I have built.

Then it quiets--this monster, ebbing and flowing, strong and sure, continuous, seeping into every corner of me until it comes leaking out, silently.

It used to be hidden in the secret, dark depths of me, its unknown strength building, crippling my fragile hold on life.

Now that I have let it free, will it ever dry up or will it flow forever and forever to be replaced by some other grief?

This river that threatens to drown me

This river that shapes me as it changes course, changes my course.

This river that sharpens me,

Strengthens me,

Shines me.