Thoughts on Belonging

How do I find a place to belong when I’ve never really felt like I've

belonged anywhere before?

I find it rather easy to tell myself that I don't belong. To dig out those feelings of 'otherness.' I grew up in a country completely different from my 'passport' country (Australia). I went to a boarding school run by and mainly populated by North Americans. When I came back to live in Australia I did not recognise the place as my home and wanted to leave as soon as possible. For six years I lived in PNG and now back in Australia I'm struggling to once again to feel at home.

The picture is of me when we first moved to
PNG during our bush orientation.
I was definitely struggling with feelings of not belonging 

Belonging: the word is so weighted with deep, deep yearning. Longing to ‘be’, be included, to feel needed— to know where one fits.

We’ve moved to yet another city and once again I feel lost— between worlds. I’ve left the comfort of my belonging, of my knowing what my place was, what my purpose was. We’ve come to a place where I don’t know the rules, the boundaries, who’s busy on what days, who’s up for a chat at anytime. I don’t know where the good beaches are or where’s the best place to get an ice-coffee.

And inside my mind the doubts and questions always come thick and fast; what if I don’t find my place to belong? What if I’m not needed here? What if there is no space?

In my many moves I’ve come to realise that there is always space. The space will look different then the last one, it might not be as big or as comfortable but it will be there. I am needed in some way and it might take a bit of creativity to find out exactly what it is and a bit of openness and willingness to bend and see life in a different light.

It takes time and effort to fit into a place and in the floundering times there are awkward times, embarrassing times, frustrating times.

And, there are those time when I get up the courage to ask someone in my floundering and the conversation flourishes and it becomes more than just a cry for help but a reaching out and a relationship is built and the belonging starts.

Be strong and very courageous. To belong somewhere and to make room for others to belong takes courage and strength. When I am outside of my comfort zone, this is the time that I stretch and grow. To step into an environment where I feel like the ‘other’ is when I start to dig deep and understand myself. There is a time when everyone feels like they do not belong.

I always find myself convinced that every other person has there lives all sorted out. Like I’m the only one struggling with feelings of inadequacy, with feelings of not belonging. But it’s not true. Every single person has something that they are struggling with and to each individual it’s huge.

So, maybe belonging isn’t so much a feeling of fitting in but knowing that no matter where I am in the world I can belong. When I am secure in the knowledge of who I am (I’m still working on this), I can rest secure that God has already made a space for me. I belong. God made me and placed me here therefore I belong.